I am not quite sure how I ended up surrounded by drunken men. 

 

From inside the church the sounds of drumming and praising welled up in the air. This is what I wanted, this is what got my soul stirring. From inside the church, the smell weighed heavy, a kind of mix between body odor and dirt. From a single open space in the wall, a breeze flowed through. Chanting and jumping seemed to last for a little while and then prayers for the work that was going to be done. 

 

I will tell you that we were in what the people referred to as a slum area. The houses were usually big empty huts and sheets separated the rooms. We went into house after house and usually prayed for the women of the house to either strengthen their faith or for their husbands to come to know the Lord. We prayed for nightmares to be cast out and we prayed for healing. I realized quick that the men in the community were not guiding their families to the Lord. One by one, we were told of struggling marriages or abandoned women and children. Seriously, it weighed on me the wrong way.

One of the last houses we went to we were told that the husband was sitting outside, he was not a believer and their marriage was struggling. All day long we had been drug quickly from house to house, not building relationships but seeking people who did not know the Lord to pray a sinner's prayer. That is not the way I prefer to operate. I was frustrated. But this was the opportunity; this was the time to tell someone about how much they were loved, to tell him that there is something better.

We walked right by him, on to the next house. My spirit sunk a little bit. This was not why I was here. I am not a marketing tool. I was praying and trying to get my thoughts under control and back on Jesus.

We visited one more house. There was a man named Peter, who asked to know more about God. He had been going to church, but had not felt any change. For a brief couple minutes, we shared about how Jesus loved him and died for him. And then... we prayed for his addiction to alcohol. Seriously?

It was time to head back to church. However, I had reached breaking point. This was not how I was going to head back to the church. I know work is not in vein, but I wanted to at least tell one person their worth and the street was lined with tattered clothed children and drunkards. I made it a mission to talk to as many people on the way back. Starting with kids. I gave so many high fives and before long had about twenty kids following me down the dirt, water logged road. George would look at me confused as I would talk to everyone I passed. He stood there smiling.

Then came a divine encounter. A couple of guys stepped out and began to talk to me. I could smell the alcohol on their breath and their body odor seeped into my nostrils. We met a man named Edgar, we told him why we here. We told him that Jesus loved him. We invited him to church to get a Bible. He laughed. This is where things get a little blurry for me. Somehow the girls slipped away and started walking up the hill with Bishop. 

I had no idea, until I looked around and saw that George and myself were the only two left. Next thing I know I was surrounded. There was Samuel, David, Peter, James, Edgar and about four others. George looked at me, kind of out of concern and kind of shot me a kind of plead to continue back to church. I was happy. I told the guys that I had to be on my way. They were still questioning, they were still seeking. One of the guys asked for money and I turned back. I looked him in the eyes and felt it. I told him I would pray for him.

He took off his dirty cap and I took hold of his shoulder. I prayed for addictions to break, I prayed for divine encounters, for the Spirit to fill him up from head to toe and for blessing. He looked at me; the glaze in his eyes and a look of complete bewilderment took hold of him. I said goodbye again and Edgar stepped up and asked, "What about me?"

I smiled, this man who I had just met had no idea about how much Jesus loved him wanted me to pray for him. Once again, I stepped up took hold of his hand and shoulder and began to pray. One after one they lined up seeking some blessing. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. George stood by smiling. The day was turning around. Here the Spirit was causing revival amidst drunkards. It was awesome!

I was mid-prayer for guy number four when I felt a hand wrap around my arm. I looked to my right and there was Bishop. He had come back for me. He pulled me to the side and told me, "We have to go." I looked back to the group of guys, eager to be heard, eager to be talked to, seeking hope. I said goodbye and turned my back on them. I was dragged away.

It was time for revival, but the only thing on my mind was the revival that I had left. All my emotions about how I had seen the church react in the past flooded me. My heart cried out, "Flood my soul". Why are we here? I asked God over and over again. Something just was not resonating. Something in me was bitter. I prayed all day long. And I was heard!

Isaiah 55:6-9

⁶  "Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call upon him while he is near;
⁷ let the wicked forsake his way,
    and the unrighteous man his thoughts;
let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,
    and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
⁹  For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways

So here I am. I am writing about my time spent with Team Wellspring over the last couple of days. My heart longs for restoration in the church. There are a lot of good things happening and there is a plentiful harvest. My bitterness is gone, as if I had a say in it. Haha

I stare at an alabaster page!

 

At this point you are thinking one of two things:

 

Disclaimer: If you choose to watch the video above, you are making the choice to open your heart and ask yourself, "What can I do to help?" This may require a little sacrifice and we have no way of keeping you accountable but we ask that you give generously.. Thank-you and Enjoy!

Half way has come and gone...

       Adventures have been lived...

              Relationships have given us purpose...

                     The Spirit has sent us for whirlwinds...

                            The Father has prepared the way for us...

                                   Worship has left us undignified before God...

BUT...

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

This is a cry out for support!!! 

B-Squad has stood together through so much and we know that we are to finish this journey together. Every member serves as a piece to the Kingdom Bringing, Life Altering, Spirit Breathing, Love Giving and Good News Preaching that this journey and our squad have to offer.

We have had the opportunity to play with toothless kids, witness miracles, see people come to know Jesus, help each other become closer in our own walks, offer our bodies to grueling physical labor, laugh with people we have come to love but the following people need your help to continue and finish the Race...

Read their blogs and choose to support and fight for them! The amount is how much they have left to raise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALL THESE GOOD THINGS START WITH B's

WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

This is my chance; I scramble to my knees and once again dive forward with everything that I have. My hand is outstretched trying to reel in the power that has magnetized the air around the dusty robe that I seek to cover me. I can feel the strength regaining and the joy of intimacy rising up within me as I sail ever so closer. My chest hits the ground first, followed by the flailing crashing of my left elbow and my legs. My right hand remains outstretched willing just a few more inches. 

I come up short!

I glance up through the blurriness of my vision, not sure if the dirt or the tears took hold first. I see Him as He is walking away. The stature of a man and yet I take in so much more. The way they follow Him and the crowd longs for Him to speak. I hear His laugh stretch the distance between us. I make out his smile and the compassion of His eyes as He surveys and advances through the crowd. I see the look of admiration from the children as he passes and I feel young again. I remember looking up to my dad thinking how invincible he is. 

That is when I lose it. I bury my head into my arms. My bones give way to weariness and I sob. I know what is to come. I know how they will turn. I know He doesn't deserve it. I know I don't deserve it. I realize the price of freedom. I realize the faults of my heart. I feel the weight of my selfishness. Everything within me wants to cry out a warning, but He knows. My mind races, a whole new sense of the realness of the story sets in. He KNOWS!!!

I lie still for what seems like eternity. I feel the magnetism leave the air and the crowd disperse. 

My body convulses with the new found emptiness that envelops me. I try to fight back the tears and maintain my composure. My mind rattles to realize the situation. "This isn't real! I am not alone!" I tell myself over and over. I hear the whispers flood the air, "You are not worthy, what can you do?"

I grit my teeth to fight back the lies. I yell into the ground, every ounce of my energy craves the covering. The cleansing power of hope and power! 

I shout out, "I cannot see you!" "I cannot see you!" "I am cut off from your sight!" "Hear me, hear my cry for mercy!" The tears take hold and the veins bulge from my neck.

Once again the silence creeps in and the whispers fade away.

I am not sure if it's from the battle of my senses or the fighting for presence, but in an instance I'm aware of a hand resting on my back. The rough fingertips move slowly down my shoulder blade. 

I begin to arise and I see the feet again. They look so familiar! They spark my memory; they burn my retinas. Where have I seen these feet?

 

I look up; I am back! I feel the burning in my shoulders and I hear the last note ringing from the electronic piano. Kayla and Banko slide back into the chairs lined next to mine and I smile at them. We are seated and I begin to laugh to myself. My day has been altered. And where am I, laid out flat before it asking, "What is it that you have for me today?"

I am in Vietnam. It's a closed country. I have no idea what rights I have and which ones I don't. I know that my heart posture is back. I'm ready to start climbing again. I'm ready to break free from this funk of a valley. I'm ready. Are you?

When is the last time you saw Him? I saw Him again this morning and the best part is that He saw me! Vietnam has shown me how much He loves me! I wouldn't call it a slow month; I would declare it as a month of reinforcement. I am moving forward to dig deeper to somehow collide the Heaven within me with the Earth surrounding me. I have made Him and myself a promise; I want to be an influencer, not the influenced! Call me and label me crazy.

I PLAN ON GETTING EVEN MORE UNDIGNIFIED!

Want to know why those feet look familiar? 

Stay Tuned... 

Read Psalm 31 and see where He took me that morning!

I know I haven't posted any blogs since being in Vietnam, but I promise this will tie into the month. Vietnam has been really exciting, full of hope and full of restoration! So that being said, I want to share a vision with you:

The sun beats down on my tired, worn out body. I feel the droplet of sweat finally break and run down the crevice of my back reminding me how much I truly am longing for a swig of water. My feet carry me forward following the crowd of strangers. I try to blend in; I try but to no avail. People are looking at me and I at them. 

My mind is racing; my only thought is, "Where am I?" 

My legs ache as if I have been walking for days. I can feel a shift in the air; my spirit is excited! I can feel a stirring in my chest, my steps start to regain strength and a breeze brushes across my face. I breathe in to know that I am alive and that I am present, my nose reaches toward the sky and my eyes shut, feeling the rays of light trying to penetrate my eyelids. The smell of jasmine and oil creep into my nostrils. My weakness has been replaced by longing. I know what is happening. I sense it without even having to see. The tears are beginning to well up in my eyes and the murmurs drown out as the call cries out in my mind. I hear the thud as my legs finally give out to exhaustion and my knees slam into the ground erupting in a cloud of dirt.

I glance down at the open palms of my hands. They are so dirty. Etched into my wrist I see it, "doulos." A single tear lands in my hand diminishing a small spot of dirt. I am unworthy to be here, I'm not even sure where here is. The conversations slowly start to tune back in from my left. 

"Who is this man?" 

"Do you really think he has come to save us?"

"I hear he has superpowers!"

"Others are saying he is possessed by Beezlebub himself!"

The crowd has positioned itself in a huge mob. Kids are placed on the shoulders of their dads and people are pushing forward and taking shots with elbows to inch their way to the front. 

This can't be happening. 

I take another deep breath, deeper then the first. It feels real! I try to will myself to turn. To only be able to look Him in the eye, to know that He sees me. I cannot. I lunge myself forward, sprawled out upon the ground. My forehead melts into the dirt and my arms stretch forward reaching out for the empty void that lies right in front of me. My breathing has slowed, but I can feel the small particles of dirt moving in and around my lips as my lungs push forward each breath. 

I can feel His movement; He is close. I can sense the crowd stirring around me and yet I still cannot move. The smell grows stronger and my lips begin to mumble off a small prayer, "Hosanna..." 

If you were there you would have looked upon me in embarrassment and if not you would have been laid out next to me unaware that I was even there. 

I feel the ground resonate in front of me. It's a footstep but not just any step; it is the step of freedom, the very distance of limitlessness. The power that exudes from those steps quakes the ground in front of me. My mind races, if only I can reach out to grab the trailing garment of the one that I love so dearly. 

Everything has slowed down. I lift my forehead out of the dirt; there in front of me He is walking. The straps of his sandals are worn out and His feet are covered in the dust that seems to consume its surroundings. These feet are not foreign to me.  I have seen them before! 

 

To be continued...

If you read nothing else in this blog, please read the last paragraph!

There is a Bible verse that I go to from time to time. When I need a pick me up, I go there. When I want to worship, I go there. When I doubt, I go there. Okay, I go there a lot! I know what you want to know, what verse? Here it is, get excited they are Jesus' words:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -Jesus

You would think that I learned what it meant to "take heart" from the Man himself, but I'd be lying if I told you that. Here is the thing; this blog is unlike any other that I have written. It is a response and it is a challenge. I have been praying about this all week and this is what God has spoken to me.

 

I will never ever be able to truly write my feelings into words on a page. But I feel that this is a start. It is so important to tell the people you care about the most, how they impact you and how much they mean to you.  This is my attempt and it is often so overdue:

I want you to know that you have the freedom that you long for! Galations 5:1. 

You ask me if I see your cage? I do. I see your cage, but you are not in it. You have taught me how to stand firm in freedom. You have taught me that when the world puts you in a cage, you break through the door and you stand firm in His promises. I want you to see this; the world has no hold on you! Institutions and expectations will not take you captive. Your heart is not of this world, your heart is not the heart of the world; your heart is His heart!  I write this blurry eyed because I know that it is THE TRUTH. These are the values that you have instilled in me. I love people better and I love Jesus more because I grew up seeing what it meant to seek Him and to pour out your heart into people. 

"In this world you will have trouble." And when you run into that trouble, you realize that everything will be okay. The war is won! Oh how people are probably tired of me saying that. But I will let them thank you, you taught me that one too. You taught me not to focus on darkness, but you taught me how to seek out the light. You may not see the connection there, but I do. It happened through the sleepless nights, the fears and in the darkest parts of my life. You showed me where to turn and you showed me what it meant to never give up. The times that you could not be the comforter, He was. I made the comment that you have His heart. You want to know how I know? It's because the same lessons you have taught me, He is teaching me and He is going deeper.

You have done your job so well! I know what you will say, "It wasn't a job!" But I put you through some stuff and yet you never faltered in a decision or advice. And yet you are one of my closest friends. It is so awesome to say that!

I thank God everyday for you! I would not be here doing what I am doing had it not been for our conversations growing up and for the ways that you pointed me to asking God. You see as much as you preach to people, you minister to them as well. You have ministered to me, you have loved me and I know that you always will.

In the mean time keep reading...

Love,

Thomas

p.s. I set down with a team the other night to speak life over one another, three hours later it was turned back on us. The last comment I received was from Brandon, he said, "Your mom is your hero, I hear it when you talk about her. One day she will tell you that you are her hero!" I lost it. I'm not so sure that I am deserving of that yet. But I want you to know that everybody knows you here, they know your heart and they know your dreams (homeless ministry, restaurant, etc..) They know that you are a saint (you are)! They love you and they don't personally know you! You are so deserving of that. You are deserving of being who He made you to be and loving the way you love. Keep letting him stretch you! You are a rainbow, not a stained glass window. You stretch around the world without even having to travel. 

I hope you don't care that this is public. There is a reason!

 

I love you guys, He loves you, and the battle is already won!

I keep having this reoccurring dream...

I'm standing on a crowded, busy street and yet there is no one around. I can hear the sounds and feel the people as they brush by me. All drunkenly making their way back to wherever it is they came. Every once in a while I catch a familiar voice calling my name, but no one is there when I call back. I walk further and further down the deserted, dusty road until I come to a church. It's a worn out wooden church. The wooden boards are covered in dirt and the place looks as though it has been deserted for quite some time. And yet the once whitewashed boards shine through the dirt.

I look around taking in the new surroundings, completely baffled at how I came to be in this new place, away from the commotion, lights and darkness that seems to have been lost a hundred feet behind me. There is an eerie silence and then I look up. A stained glass mosaic takes me in. Colors seem to be dancing with colors and I begin to laugh. Something takes over and I find myself in awe of the joy and beauty that radiates from the pieced together glass. Everything seems like it's going to be all right, when a rock comes soaring in from over my head. It strikes the stained glass and sends it to the ground in pieces. I find myself running gathering up the pieces, all while my hands get cut up and I realize blood begins to run out of my hands, but it doesn't matter. My heart's longing is to piece this thing back together. I work frantically as if time is about to run out...

 

 

 

My story is changing. My adventures are taking on life. My heart is full and yet pieces of it are being left in the places and people I leave behind me.

 

I wake up every morning and go out into the day trying to sell something that doesn't even belong to me. It is something so beautiful! I find joy amidst darkness, even to the point of giving the darkness no attention. The battle is already won! I walk down dusty streets until I am completely engulfed in a Spirit drunkenness that sends me crashing to the ground begging for more! And when I lose sight of that, I will stop at nothing until I can find that secret place again.

I don't know Srey's full story and I might never. But I do know who she is! She is SO LOVED, she is A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH GOD, she is SO PROTECTED, she is a PIECE of MY STORY, she is THOUGHT OF, she is JOY and she is the BROKEN STAINED GLASS that I will be chasing after for the rest of my life in order to try and restore it's beauty to what it is and what it should remain from the start!

I have my daily struggles and God has a lot left to do within me, but these collisions this month have definitely been a sign to me that there is no other place I would rather be. There are so many people left to meet and so many stories left to share and I am sad. I am heart broken that I have to leave this one. There is so much HOPE in this place.. Ah SO MUCH HOPE!!